Dear Pegge, A Soulful Insight Column

Waking up to reality requires a mindset to listen to self and others, to become practiced at discovering how our own life speaks in the stillness or quiet of body, mind, and heart.

Dear Pegge,

I find myself dissatisfied with the dullness of my life, my distractions, and want to learn to be more present and feel vitality and connection again. Do you have any thoughts to help?

–Liliana

Dear Liliana,

Thank you for your question, and for your desire! I honor your seeking and have many thoughts. First though, I deeply appreciate that you are asking and naming, even declaring, your inner restlessness and desire. This is a step to change and offers us clues and courage. You are not alone, even if it may feel like it.

I’ve found that life isn’t a linear timeline. Instead, I view it as a spiral of sorts, and through time we may visit questions in deeper and more nuanced ways, depending on our life experience and commitments, world events, family and work scenarios, and through the lens of our age, health, and place.

I received the gift of a stained-glass kaleidoscope for Christmas, and ponder about how it reveals light, shapes, patterns, and can be a symbol about the truth that each of us is unique, distinct, and irreplaceable—how growth happens when we become curious, brave, and give permission to change and evolve. Also, about how opening the present moment, however it shows up, contains beauty, and can be cause for appreciation, and a deep breath.

To respond more deeply to your question, in these coming winter months, each week I will write more about how we can grow with deliberate daily practices, and with people or guides who come alongside us as we lean into living a natural, vibrant life of authenticity and meaning.

Today is quite frigid in Alaska—it’s been a few weeks of -10 Fahrenheit, and six inches of new snow swirled and blew throughout the night. It’s overcast and the Kenai River view from my cozy window is in shades of gray, with glimmers of sunray shadows beginning. Fingers crossed, by evening we may see blue sky. As I write, I’m wrapped in a teal-colored blanket, the fireplace heats air, a cup of bullet-proof decaf coffee spiked with cinnamon is next to me, I see what I know to be a vibrant river, that still flows in its depth, yet that flow is invisible beneath a blanket of thick snow atop frozen and fractured blocks and hunks of ice. We too are like this—sometimes hibernating, at other times thawing, and still at other times, glistening with sparkles of sunlight.

In this quiet wintering time, with eagles soaring and hunting, bared trees, and a snowshoe hare who leaves tracks while seeking sustenance, I’m reminded of a tender time in my life, ten years ago, and a reflection I wrote for Listen: A Seeker’s Resource for Spiritual Direction. I share it with you today and offer you reflection or journaling questions at the end.

Wintering at the River Raven Sanctuary lodge dock, Kenai River, Alaska | ©Pegge

Trust Life, Wake Up!

Awaken! The time is now for each of us to become fully alive to the remarkable experience of living, in spite of heartache and messiness, stagnation, and lack of vision or resources. We must each wake up into the possibility embedded into present time, in order to live into the title of Seth Godin’s book, What To Do When It’s Your Turn, And It’s Always Your Turn.

Waking up to reality requires a mindset to listen to self and others, to become practiced at discovering how our own life speaks in the stillness or quiet of body, mind, and heart. Connecting with a soul-companion one-on-one, participating in group spiritual direction, or simply having a trusted friend deliberately listen to us share our story offers a thankful gift. Trappist monk Thomas Merton wrote, “The whole purpose of spiritual direction is to penetrate beneath the surface of our lives, get behind the facade of conventional gestures and attitudes which we present to the world, and draw out our inner spiritual freedom.”

Why is waking up and making time to listen essential? Without being present to the here and now of life, we can miss the opportunity to shift the world into a precious habitat of love.

The ability to know oneself becomes apparent when we interact with each other or can be revealed when a care or concern in the world commands our passion and compassion.

Recently, I desired to risk sharing part of my story with a man who I trust, and care deeply about. But an experience of raw vulnerability began when I recognized fear and timidity within myself. A litany of questions erupted in my mind—similar to what can pop up when we desire to share portions of our story in spiritual guidance:

What if I am rejected or misunderstood? What if I can’t express myself and use one hundred words, when ten would suffice?

In this instance, irritated with myself, I questioned:

How come I can get so muddled up inside? Where is the freedom to trust my own voice and heart, and the person who I want to talk with?

I did muster the courage to speak—but not before I’d mumbled and side-stepped until my friend, gently recognizing my discomfort, took my hands and softly said, “there’s nothing you can’t tell me.” In that moment, an essential recognition unlocked and softened in me. My voice and story began to flow. I understood Merton’s words, “We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone—we find it with another,” in a new way.

We must be brave to wake up, to listen, and to share our life reality with each another through words, service, advocacy, and presence. In How To Train a Wild Elephant, Jan Chozen Bays, MD, wrote: “May I respectfully remind you, life and death are of supreme importance. Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost. When this day has passed, our days of life will be decreased by one. Each of us should strive to awaken. Awaken! Take heed! Do not squander your life!”

–Pegge Erkeneff, 2014, Listen: A Seeker’s Resource for Spiritual Direction, vol. 9.2

Reflection Questions

Invest a few minutes to reflect or journal with one of these prompts, or with anything that caught your attention in this post. Kindly share below in a comment! I read every comment and will happily reply.

• Are there yearnings or desires that you are ignoring?

• Have you experienced an inner restlessness?

• Is there a favorite saying, song, or poem that accompanies you in times of trial and tribulation, offering you courage and encouragement?

• Do you have a soul-friend—someone who can listen to and with you unconditionally, without judgment or problem-solving?

• What season is this in your life?

• Does the idea of an intentional spiritual journey bring a spark of excitement to you? (note: starting, renewing, or deepening your path may help you shed old ideas and concepts, and discover deeper meaning and joy in your life!)

• Would you like to discover more about practices and a path for your own vitality and connection to a loving spirit that guides and inspires you?

If you have a question for the “Dear Pegge, a soulful advice column” post it in a comment, or message Pegge!